lest i forget

2017 October, I went to Cambodia for mission. 
And by mission I mean the Christian-kind of mission where one share the gospel to another, be it another who might never heard of it or another who might have had heard enough of it.

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I went there with a team of Malaysian whom I know when I was still in university.

They changed, for the better. They are all good while some of them are real great. It humbled me, it brings me back to the times when I met them, I was a real cheeky and spoiled brat then. Well I do hope I have changed for the better as well, going for a mission and all myself.

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It all started early when we bought the flight tickets months before, I also started to set apart some money for it. Weeks before, I am done saving for it and I paid for the accommodation and all the other needs there. Counting days, my desks were overflowed with works; the kind that needs my immediate attention.

You've got to be kidding me.

Easy to think that, "This is 'the bad' trying to make me not going for the mission, or at least make me not 'wholly present' there when I am doing the mission since my mind will still be busy with the on hold work and all."

I would say it works wonder.

There was this thought then, "It's not funny if I go out there and do something for some stranger when I cannot even be 'responsible' at the place where I am supposed to be responsible." Make sense, isn't it? Anyone with common sense would have think so.

Then, how should I put them down?

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I didn't.
In the end, I convinced myself to go there at least for the 'trip''s sake.

cliché as it is, it was that one decision that makes this blog.
~Lest I forget. I donot want to forget, I would rather remember all of it.~
Much like first love, I think #offtopic #onpurpose santaii haha

Cambodia.is.hot.
Real.really.hot.

So, I went there and did anything I think I could and I should. I shared with the locals about how to grow in God as Christians.
As logical as I am, I was sharing expecting the locals can understand or at least barely know what I was trying to convey considering the language barrier and all.

Apparently, it doesnot really work the way logic is. Since with the so-called 'barrier,' the communication become real and genuine, it was bona fide authentic; the intent was crystal clear and there was almost no bias in communicating. Great and unexpected, and to think I was a communication bachelor degree holder.

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The locals were lovely, all of them were warm and kind-at-heart.
I thought I was good enough a man; with the fact that I was born, raised and grew up as a Christian and all, yet again, humbled.

Never swear, never also praising others.
Always serving in church, yet barely serving at home.
Complaining, never complimenting.
Thinking of others while being vain and conceited.

Now that I think about it, I thought I was going there to serve and give, err... excuse me.
I wanted to give yet I received more, I wanted to serve yet I was the one getting all enlightened to what 'serving' really is in itself.

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Andd that was it, that is all that I think I need to remember. The fact is that I am struggling to and while writing all of this. Should I remember? How do I forget?

Well remember, that nothing is really worth it without it leaving you vulnerable at all.
So, your my call. To forget all the goods for some of the not-so-goods, or to take it all in and be just a little bit braver. Just to let you me know that the word 'latter' rhymes with the word 'better.'

Embrace the past, be expectant about the future.
Enjoy the moment present and take it as a present for the moment.


Well let me take an oath upon myself that I.will.be.back. to wherever it is, wherever it may be, and wherever it will be. Until then, ciao.